Li Ning, principal of Beijing Institute of Protocol, is heading the selection process for hostesses at next year’s Beijing Olympics, and has a few choice things to say:

We don’t want anyone who looks in any way sleazy because that could really put athletes off. Bone structure and height should be uniform. For example, we don’t want any wide bottoms.

Tattoos are also forbidden, which puts Missy Elliott out of the running under all counts, as she got an authentic tribal tattoo in New Zealand, is incredibly short, and definitely bootylicious.

That’s too bad, as she’d make a great opening event. However, since the ceremonies will probably try to have as Chinese a flavour as possible, someone like Faye Wong, Jay Chou, S.H.E, or any of the myriad and awesome Chinese singers would do!

(On an unrelated note, wouldn’t a 周杰伦 / Missy Elliott collaborating be TOTALLY AWESOME?)